# How to get FREE milled hardwood for your Bldgs.



## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

I got 3 packs of Wal-Mart asst wood square stock @$1.44/pkg. Free. Here's how:

First, I took the 'Magic, Garryunteed to win Key' I got in the mail down to the local Ford dealer.

I tried to bum a cup of coffee, like they have for the customers. My salesman was having none of this crap from old guys with giveaway crap in their hand. Asked if I wanted bacon 'n eggs too. I brightened right up and said, "Why sure! Strawberry jelly 'n toast, if you have it."

Asked to sell me a car. I told him I didn't have any money, on SS. I just wanted my 'free' prize.

Told me he could put me in a ride for $99/mo. "A new one? Sure!" I answered, even brighter. No, a used one. An old used one. I said I had two of those, could I have my prize?

"I have to try to sell you a car, first."

I said, "Okay, try. Pontiac didn't cut it last month, let's see your pitch." (Like, do I _look_ like I fell off a turnip truck and just rolled into his showroom? I'm 65.)

He finally did look at me. He led me over to the 'GAME WIZARD!! MASTER COMPUTER! That's what the sign said on top, but it looked like an old TV Monitor to me. He punched in my phone no, addr, and hit "ENTER" A bell chimed. He explained, as one to those who can't read: "You get the $5 Wallmart debit card." I said, "Hey, great! How 'bout the coffee?" He said no on the coffee but led me to a tastefully cut out quart-oil bottle box that had a narrow security slot cut carefully in the top with a pocketknife. "You can put your Walmart card in here." I said I wanted to take it to Walmart. He said I could enter to win up to $1,000 by Saturay. By now he was pretty disgusted with me. I said I please wanted my Walmart card, my meds were due to be picked up.

I took my Walmart card, thanked him, and left. Went down to Wally and got my 3 pks of lumber. Clerk told me I had 35 cents left on it. Old black guy standing next in line. I asked him, "You want 35 cents?" He took the card and thanked me.

I walked out with my free wood. Life is good, sometimes.

Les


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## Mike Reilley (Jan 2, 2008)

Fantastic story...still laughing. You are becoming our NEW curmudgeon.... Just love stories like this.


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## Spule 4 (Jan 2, 2008)

Next time go to Honda, all the free coffee you could want.... But then no free wood then. 

These are the trade-offs in life?


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Mike, glad you got a chuckle this morning.

Garrett:

I dunno what's with the new breed of salesmen. This guy knew why I was in there, the ad was so big the mailman had to fold it to get it in my oversized mailbox. Not exaggerating, I think it was 12 x 18". With this cheesy plastic key glued on. So, why the sarcasm about the coffee 'n breakfast? Was it his? Did he have to make it? So, why not give the geezer a cup of coffee, or just point to the mess area and say, 'help yourself'?

Okay, he's under orders to try to sell me a car. I understand that and tell him the truth: I'm not about to buy another car. He insists. One thing I didn't mention was, just like the Pontiac guy last month, the first thing he lays off on me is this lecture about how well cars are selling--new ones--but he can really wheel 'n deal me on a used one, just out of warranty. Now, yesterday on Fox News, I hear 'em report that GM may go into bankruptcy. I hear it reported that all the car companies are taking a huge hit--the Big Three, anyway. My private summary of the guy was, he was young and had no respect for old men. And yet he had go through the hoops with me. And he made it clear he was above all that. Pointed at that new Mustang and said, "Bet you'd like to win that!" I said I remembered the original issue, which was a lot smaller, and anyway, I'm a pickup truck sorta guy. But he plows on, attitude 'n all.

I tell him I'm not interested. Nicely. Several times. At last, he gives me my 'prize'. Then tries to get me to essentially give it back by dropping it in the oil carton to see if I can win $1K. I tell him I don't play the lottery, either, and leave.

Sounds like a lotta grief for a few sticks of sqaure wood, huh? I enjoyed every minute of making that guy feel frustrated. I thought it was all funny enough to post about.

Les


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## Del Tapparo (Jan 4, 2008)

That's great Les! Car salesmen and all the *&_# that goes with it is such a pain. I love it when somebody takes the time to burn them just a little bit.

I purchased my last two vehicles from a friend in our train club. He owned the dealership, which recently bit the dust, along with the rest of the economy. Best service and experience I ever had at a car dealership. What a shame. He (and they) were truly the exception to my rule.


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Del,

Car salesmen are truly a different breed of cat. My father used to say they were the descendants of horse traders.

Now that I truly don't care whether I ever buy another new car or not, I can take a little time and get my evens. Not that I even care to. I just don't put up with being treated like a moron anymore.

Les


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## Spule 4 (Jan 2, 2008)

A joke in a UK motor trade magazine I used to read: 

_A young man was asked by his very wealthy father what he wanted for his birthday. The young lad replies "Daddy I want a cowboy outfit". So the father bought him the local Toyota dealership....._ 

Yes, they are there to sell cars, but they hate the 25% of the poplulation that actually think when they come through the doors. 

The last new car I bought (Honda Fit) I bought in April of '06, the first week they hit the US in limited numbers. The guys at the local dealer who wanted to talk about mark ups about messed their drawers when I showed them a sheet of every Fit at every dealership in the state, options, price, etc. Not a print out, but my notes with VINs and salesmen names and phone #s. The BS stopped quickly. 

Unfortunately, the dealership wants to know how I feel about EVERYTHING with the car after I bought it, and even service. I get a phone call from them and their third party survey company. I am not sure what the insecurity is. The end of it all came last month when I made the mistake of stopping to look at a Buick on their used lot (I am in the market for a land yacht now as a third car). Nice on the outside, but even with their cleaning and repairs, the car was a disaster on the inside, from the cut up driver's seatbelt to the food splattered on the rear view mirror. BTW, they had to boost it off to, and about at full KBB retail. Nein Danke! 

Anyhow, I awake from a nap to my cel phone ringing from an (800) number, I answer, and it is their survey company. They ask about the car, I told them it was disgusting. I then ask the lady if she can tell me why XXX Honda is so inscecure as to have someone call me when I leave, and said that Publix does not call me to see if I found my Maggi Spaetzle or other obscure food items. She hung up. The dealer started calling me several times the next day, and when I finally answered (not knowing it was them, they had the salesman who sold me my Fit in '06 call on the cel) he wondered what my beef was? I told him the car was dirty and was going to buy another car (lie) and parted terms. 

Yes, they need to sell cars, yes, life sucks (the VW/Audi/Porsche/Volvo/Jag/Subaru dealer where dad got his Subaru Forrester is NOT paying their salesmen anymore, they get comission and healthcare and that is it, and the Buick/Rolls dealer where he got his Lucerne may be counting their days) and they are having a real problem......they are finding out they are really not needed anymore. 

A friend bought his Chevrolet via the fleet sales Mgr as his employer is a supplier and he gets "employee" pricing also. The whole deal went as easy as buying a pair of socks form Kohl's. 

....and in the days of "Just in Time" manufacturing and being able to "build" cars on the Mfgr's websites, the next natural step would be the "PRINT" button, if you know what I mean.


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Wow,

I'd not heard that salesmen were working straight commision again! They did that in the '50s a lot, if memory serves. Wow, I ... almost ... feel sorry for 'em.

I hear an awfully lot of people are having their old vehicles repaired at quite stiff prices, to avoid another purchase. Wouldn't you think, at some point in time, the manufacturers would realize the things are just too expensive? I wonder if that's really true?

Les


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## Semper Vaporo (Jan 2, 2008)

I love the stories. I have two.

First I have to say I have had some very good experiences buying a car, both new and used. Dealt with some very knowledgable people, knew there stock and financing well and were a pleasure to buy a car from.

Story 1

Several years ago I had a Mazda RX-4 that I liked really well. Unfortunately a patch if ice on the interstate did that car in... I followed another car into the ditch and when it stopped, I stopped just past their rear bumper OUCH! Ruined a really nice car. So I wanted another one. I saved my money for a long time and when I had enough to pay cash for a used RX-7 that I really wanted I went to the dealer. I had admired the car for a couple of weeks as it sat in their indoor show room... I am sure it was a tease to get people in, but I was willing to pay the sticker amount to get it... yes I was that dumb. 

Anyway, an older fellow came over and asked what I wanted. I said, "That car" and pointed at the RX-7. He said, "No, you don't want that car, it is not the type for you." (Maybe he was just being honest!) I said, "Yes, I do, I want that car and I will pay cash." Again, he said, "No, that car is not for your type."

I am now insulted and pulled FIFTY $100.00 bills out of my vest pocket and riffled it in front of his face. I said, in a rather loud voice... "Well, if you won't sell me that car for cash at the sticker price, I'll just go somewhere else." As the door closed behind me I could hear someone totally berating the fellow. "Somebody comes in here with cash and you refuse the sale! What kind of a saleman are you!" I managed to get out of the lot before the one doing the berating could get out the door, but I could hear him calling after me.


Story 2

When my eldest son was in the market for a vehicle, he wanted a pickup truck. He had gone to the county fairgrounds where they were holding a multi-dealerr "Car-sell-a-thon!" and found what he wanted. He was too young to buy it himself so he came home and convinced me he had found what he wanted. Wife says I have to take him back to see what it was and would leave it up to me. My youngest son and he and I went back to the fairgrounds.

We get there and he shows me the truck and, quite frankly, I didn't like it at all... but it was what he wanted and the price he had been told was not too bad. The salesman approached and asked if I was his dad. I responded affirmatively and we went over to the tent to get out of the rain and wind. The salesman went behind a folding table to get some paperwork. I stood there, cold and miserable (I was about to spend money for something I wasn't wanting myself)... the sales guy went through his spiel... nice truck, low mileage for its age, good engine for its age, body not too rusted, good for a teenager to drive... blah blah blah. 

I am shuffling my feet in the cold while I try to think of what I really want to pay and then trying to do the math in my head of how much that was from what he had told my son so I could double that difference and offer that much lower so we could meet in the middle at the price I was willing to pay. We are in a grassy area with lots of lumps and rocks and such and while shuffling my feet I twisted my ankle slightly on a lump and to stabilize myself (and not look like the klutz I am) I took a step backwards...

The poor salesman about leapt over the table at me! He says, "Hey, wait! Help me out here! Help me out here! What would you offer! I can deal on this!" He then dropped his price BELOW what I had calculated to offer so we could meet in the middle! I wiped my forehead to comtemplate a second, but mainly to try to keep the smile from forming and he dropped it another couple hundred! I finally sighed and said I thought I could do that..."After all, it is for my son and I want to get him what he wants." He added with a big smile, "That price would be WITH the tax, too!"

I drove back in my car and my son and his brother drove home in HIS pickup truck. When we got home my son said he was afraid I had decided to not buy the truck when I started to walk away and was really surprized that when the salesman started saying, "Help me out here! Help me out here!" I then told him I had merely stumbled on the uneven ground and was going to pay a higher amount and could hardly stiffle my giggle at the poor salesman.

I and my sons (both of them) have used that little "stumble backwards" when buying a car to very good effect since then. It has worked EVERY time to some degree!


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## East Broad Top (Dec 29, 2007)

I was at a car dealership a few years ago (on the "used", er, "previously owned" side of things), when a large rat came scurrying across the showroom floor. One of the sales reps yelled "There's a rat! Kill it!" I quickly ducked under the desk. The salesman asked what the heck I was doing. Having the attention of all the salesmen in the room now, I said "I'm in a room full of used car salesmen, and someone yells 'kill the rat!' I don't know which of y'all's gonna get that bullet, but it ain't gonna hit me first." They enjoyed the laugh, but it didn't make them any more willing to agree to my terms. 

Another time, my wife and stopped by the dealership to look at new VW Bugs, just on a whim. We were definitely not going to buy anything, but we had time to kill and she wanted to test drive one. We get back to the showroom, and started chatting with the salesman. At this point, it's getting rather late, and I had to get in to work. (I work 2nd shift). I kept looking at my watch. Every time I did, the salesman dropped the price. Boy, if we could have afforded a new car at that point, we could have gotten a sweet deal! I'm definitely going to have to remember that trick when we _do_ buy her a Bug.  

Later, 

K


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## david bunn (Jan 4, 2008)

Very interesting insight into car salesmen on your side of the pond.
First of all an admission, since leaving the advertising business at the age of 23 I have been a car salesman for most of my life, ducks quickly to avoid missiles!!!!!!
To qualify that I progresses to dealer management and then to my own dealership which I left three years ago.Commission only is quite common here in UK especially in used car dealerships and it is a hard life, long hours,short holidays and a lot of rude customers.One of the problems faced by new car dealers is the competition from internet 'brokers' who deal at fleet rates but don't offer test drives or aftersales, they leave these to the dealers who have to cover the running costs of the demonstrators and the man hours.
Since giving up my used car business I have been involved in assessing salesmens performance for most of the makes available in the UK and the standard of salesmen varies considerably.For example in the past twelve months I have carried out assignments on probably around 350 dealerships and have found approximately only 20 or so from whom I would buy a car.If you want to be taken through 'the process' then VW is the way to go,90% of them follow the same pattern religously but the free coffee is pretty good.Ford is a very mixed bag with very few stars to shine, coffee ok ish.Mercedes on the whole very good and the coffee excellent only beaten by Porsche where the beverage quality is outstanding,free cookies too!
I have always thought that the best way to go is to support your local dealer if the deal is in the ballpark, maybe not the cheapest but he will be there for you if problems arise.
Car dealers are not decended from horse traders, that is estate agents of course!!
Bunny


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## sschaer (Jan 2, 2008)

nice story ! free wood for almost $5. 



i bet your car burned gas for $20 to drive to the dealer and then to walmart ..... ;-)


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## lotsasteam (Jan 3, 2008)

Well njoyed reading those storys,i gladly go to the dentist rather then buying a car,but it will help you if you mentioned very briefly that your dad works for the tax commission! 
manfred Diel!


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## aceinspp (Jan 2, 2008)

Bottom line to all this, is don't mess with senior citizens. The older we get the better we get.







Later RJD


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## Spule 4 (Jan 2, 2008)

The Honda was the first new car I have ever bought, being in "the motor trade" most of my cars were private sales, storage liens, "sure, just get it out of here by sundown" etc. I can see how people would get taken. They made some interesting comments while I was there, like I was more interested in the car than what its monthly payments would be? New car buying is a different world. I did buy a "previously owned" Volvo 240 DL back in the 1990s from a dealer. I had to actually chace the salesman down to seal the deal! But generally, the European dealers are a different breed than the Asian/Domsesticated car dealers. 

I got a lot of hand me downs for the reasons Les points out. Someone "abandons" a Merc 300E that needs $500 of work for a new car. You get the car for the lien amount, fix it for $250, and drive it a few years. They blame housing, but look at the number of families that feel the need to drive some $30-40K mini van and have a $50-70K income?


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## Semper Vaporo (Jan 2, 2008)

Posted By aceinspp on 03/13/2009 12:33 PM
Bottom line to all this, is don't mess with senior citizens. The older we get the better we get.







Later RJD


I was in a Bible Study group that was mostly older adults and the church had another group that was mostly younger adults. The leaders of the two groups decided we should have a get-together and that lead to having a volleyball game. We decided to do it up right and had cheer leaders and such. My group made pennants and banners that read:

"Old age and treachery will 
over come youth and skill".

We won!

But only because they were laughing so hard at our ineptitude at playing... while they were laughing at some old foggie's lousy "set" we could get it past them on a spike... didn't hurt either that while they were laughing we managed to hit the ball 4 or 5 times.


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## GG (Jan 1, 2009)

Les, great one!

gg


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Posted By sschaer on 03/13/2009 5:59 AM
nice story ! free wood for almost $5. 



i bet your car burned gas for $20 to drive to the dealer and then to walmart ..... ;-)









No, it burned less than a gallon: about 14 miles to have a little fun, get out on a cold morning and block traffic (it's a Montana minvan MT). How often do you get to be annoying on someone else's dime?


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## Ray Dunakin (Jan 6, 2008)

We used to get calls all the time from telemarketers claiming we'd won some prize. Of course they always wanted us to go somewhere for a high pressure sales pitch to buy timeshares or some other such junk. As soon as they told me I'd "won" something, I'd say, "Great, just mail it to me." 

BTW, speaking of car salesmen, according to an old Chevy training film I've seen, there once was a time when they sold cars door-to-door!


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Posted By East Broad Top on 03/13/2009 1:09 AM
I was at a car dealership a few years ago (on the "used", er, "previously owned" side of things), when a large rat came scurrying across the showroom floor. One of the sales reps yelled "There's a rat! Kill it!" I quickly ducked under the desk. The salesman asked what the heck I was doing. Having the attention of all the salesmen in the room now, I said "I'm in a room full of used car salesmen, and someone yells 'kill the rat!' I don't know which of y'all's gonna get that bullet, but it ain't gonna hit me first." They enjoyed the laugh, but it didn't make them any more willing to agree to my terms. 
[edited]
Later, 

K








Okay, now doing _that_ took some cajones. I don't think I wanna go that far.









Funny, tho.









Les


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Posted By david bunn on 03/13/2009 5:19 AM
I have always thought that the best way to go is to support your local dealer if the deal is in the ballpark, maybe not the cheapest but he will be there for you if problems arise.
Car dealers are not decended from horse traders, that is estate agents of course!!
Bunny









I'm not sure how deep an insight you have on American midwest slang, but horse traders were considered to be the illegitimate offspring of horse thieves and soiled doves.

I have never, ever had a dealer honor a warranty in my life. Nada. None. New or used. Like I said, 'car salesmen are a different breed.' I'm sure there are some honest ones, no given class is without exceptions, you will agree, I think.









Les


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Posted By aceinspp on 03/13/2009 12:33 PM
Bottom line to all this, is don't mess with senior citizens. The older we get the better we get.







Later RJD








Right on, right on.









Les


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Posted By Ray Dunakin on 03/13/2009 7:32 PM

BTW, speaking of car salesmen, according to an old Chevy training film I've seen, there once was a time when they sold cars door-to-door! 










That's a new one on me. Heh, if things keep up, they might start doing it again.









Les


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## Truthman (Dec 13, 2008)

Great Story....But how much is your time worth?


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## GG (Jan 1, 2009)

Posted By Truthman on 03/13/2009 8:15 PM
Great Story....But how much is your time worth? 


Truthman.... how much is your time worth to write this comment? 

gg


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## Semper Vaporo (Jan 2, 2008)

When I was a kid I was expected to be good and not be paid for it.

I am proud to say that today I am still good for nuthin.


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## GG (Jan 1, 2009)

Yes.... I join that sediment or sediment or sentiment... 

gg


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## Les (Feb 11, 2008)

Posted By Truthman on 03/13/2009 8:15 PM
Great Story....But how much is your time worth? 








Depends. If you want to hire me, a whole lot. (I can't even afford myself.)

If I'm loafing around town, nothing. "No place to go, and all day to get there."










Les


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## aceinspp (Jan 2, 2008)

As I always say I've got more time than money.







Later RJD


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