# How do you convince your wife



## Martan (Feb 4, 2012)

That you are not just an old guy that wants to play with toy trains in his sandbox?


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## GaryR (Feb 6, 2010)

I don't even try.


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## Totalwrecker (Feb 26, 2009)

And keep a straight face?


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## bnsfconductor (Jan 3, 2008)

She calls me a little boy, so I'm not to worried about it. Besides I tell her "you know where you can find me; either in the garage, or in the backyard." Keeps you out of the bar... 
My wife actually calls my trains my mistress as well so I guess she's okay with it! In fact some times when I'm bugging her to much she tells me to go play trains and get out of her hair. 

Craig


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## SRW (Jan 13, 2010)

What's worked for me is skipping the "wife" part altogether. True, there's some downsides and 'dry spells' to being a "confirmed bachelor", but, then again, there's countless parts of my behavior and passions I don't have to justify or explain to anyone but myself so...pretty stress free. Works for me. 

Your mileage may vary though. 

S


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## Big65Dude (Jan 2, 2008)

You simply explain to her that "... it's never too late to have a happy childhood."

(I'm living proof of that.)


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## Mik (Jan 2, 2008)

Tell her it's (slightly) cheaper than a bass boat?


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## Dan Pantages (Jan 2, 2008)

My wife collects antique dolls and pays as much for them as I do on my live steamers, I don’t complain and she doesn’t complain. It’s our kids that have to be convinced.


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## VictorSpear (Oct 19, 2011)

I get her to pay 50% of any engine I pick for my birthday....then I let it sit on the shelf for weeks saying I need more track and cars....as it would be a shame to run old cars with a new engine on old track etc... the segue has worked so far.


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## NTCGRR (Jan 2, 2008)

Show her, do it, You can be creative and she will always know where your at.


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## pete (Jan 2, 2008)

My wife likes g scale trains as much as i do. When we go to the york show i have to say no to her or else we would have more train stuff than we do now and yes she works with me on our layout fixing things, pulling weeds, helps keep things running. Thank you karen.


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## Dan Pierce (Jan 2, 2008)

It was my wife that got me started in large trains, she bought me a starter set years ago for my birthday. 

Now we have over 300 feet outdoors with a flower garden we built together. And she has her own eggliner, she liked the Russian jewel version.


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## Dwight Ennis (Jan 2, 2008)

What's wrong with being just an old guy that wants to play with toy trains in his sandbox? Answer... absolutely nothing at all.


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## John J (Dec 29, 2007)

What's wrong with a guy playing with trains in his sandbox? Heck! It's his sandbox.


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## FlagstaffLGB (Jul 15, 2012)

It's all about communication and finding something that you both enjoy. Whether its someone else in the relationship that collects dolls, antiques, srcap-booking, etc., or maybe (fingers crossed) also likes trains, its setting some goals and then going after them. My better half is a master gardener. I've taken her to a couple of other people's layouts and some minor events to get used to the possibilities. About a month ago, I took her to a friends house and bought her a Bachmann "Annie" to convert to battery power. Now she is talking about converting portions of the back yard to trains. So, kinda like all the other lessons learned in kindergarden....share the sandbox and have fun!!!!


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## Pete Thornton (Jan 2, 2008)

That you are not just an old guy that wants to play with toy trains 
Buy her a decent piece of jewelry, so she thinks you are a caring considerate husband who isn't focused entirely on trains.


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## Randy Stone (Jan 2, 2008)

My wife only complains about me buying trains when I don't have a layout to run them on. Course she didn't like me buying trains when I wasn't working either. I'm selling off toy cars to pay for my hobby now and she is fine with that. I don't go to the bar, gamble or chase women so with the trains she knows where I am. 
As for buying the wife something, she doesn't put any real interest into things I buy her. She likes Marry Moos, Tweety Birds and Owls. I've bought plenty of them for her, but it's not her collecting them,. It's really me collecting them for her.


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## Mik (Jan 2, 2008)

Maybe I just got lucky with SWMBO mark II. About half of the pieces I build, she claims as hers. When it comes to the outdoor layout, it also doubles as her herb garden. Andthis past Thursday she was more than enthusiastic about taking a little ride over to where (the Allegheny Valley's) Redbank Junction used to be to see the concrete coaling tower and climb all over the remains of the coke ovens that are about an 1/8th mile East of the wye.


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## Greg Elmassian (Jan 3, 2008)

Exactly ! Posted By Dwight Ennis on 10 Nov 2012 07:11 AM 
What's wrong with being just an old guy that wants to play with toy trains in his sandbox? Answer... absolutely nothing at all.


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## cape cod Todd (Jan 3, 2008)

I'm a middle aged guy that plays with trains and my wife thinks I'm nutz. In my spare time I'm either in the shop building, on train forums, on Ebay looking at trains, reading G+R magazine and other train books, watching videos and otherwise........ obsessed. Maybe she is right but then again she knows where I am and it beats hanging out at the pub. She is not into trains even though her Grandad was a engineer in Ireland and her Mom worked at the train station on the stenograph?? Actually the same station where the Quiet Man was filmed and she did meet John Wayne. Cool. 
As for convincing your wife if she likes the trains you have nothing to worry about because they make you happy. If not you might have to let her have the same budget for her interests that you have on your trains. You could show her all the fellow crazies on this forum and prove you are not the only one then look up a huge layout on youtube and show it to her and compare it to your humble RR. Look at this dear I'm not as Crazy as this guy! 
Play with your trains and have FUN


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## cocobear1313 (Apr 27, 2012)

Answers: 
1) Why try 
2) Compare to the price of a set of golf clubs and greens fees 
3) (If you have kids) It is a hobby I can share and spend time with the children 
4) Take up drinking and carousing for a month or two and revisit the topic. 
5) Bring up all the shoes in her closet


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## Semper Vaporo (Jan 2, 2008)

I can tell you all kinds of things wrong with on old guy that wants to play wint toy trains in his sandbox!

1.) Getting down on the ground.
2.) Getting back up again.
3.) Getting sand in your shoes and pockets.
4.) Getting sand on the palms of your hands and then rubbing your eyes.
5.) The neighbor's infernal CATS!

Need I say more?


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## toddalin (Jan 4, 2008)

Show her that you can be responsible and maintain the garden, even when not running trains. That means no weeds on the railroad and all plants trimmed _at all times_.


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## stevedenver (Jan 6, 2008)

the issue isnt convincing her
its convincing you that its ok

many times the topic has arisen 
that trains guys are social maladroits, childish, etc

im some way, its a matter of being internal and to some extent finding the ability to entertain yourself and focus

i think all that is needed is to explain 
that it provides you happiness-no differnt than i like vanilla and you lke chocolate-
you might explain what is involved-planning, modeling, historical interest, mechanical and electrical talents etc-if she needs to better understand that it is in effect a type of artisitic endeavor 
if you were interested in teh civil war with small soldiers -is it really any different-yet the latter might be associated with respectable military types and history buffs-its only perceptions

i have come to a point where one might be more cerebral or academic about the hobby, i simply love watching model or toy trains-they give me joy-it doenst matter why-


the hobby is no different than females watching the home and garden channel for re-modeling, flip this house, the voice or anything else-shopping, fancy housewares, or anything esle aesthetic in nature-all subjective 
every interest wil have advocates of why its 'superior' or of value-



its really about what you find interesting, not what she judges as 'worthy'

our hobby is paired with children's interests, as thats when the interest starts often, just like a love of animals, bikes, guns or the like-that what many associate with the interest-yet theres an entire industry that supports it-so the interest is widespread-ie were nto oddballs in terms of numbers 

often judgements are made mostly due to ignorance 
a bit of education will help
how you feel about the hobby and why
how you feel when she expresses disdain for your interest and your feelings 

you might tactfully explain how you feel about some of her interests , and that you indulge them simply because you know they make her happy (if this is the case)

obviously, all these things are balanced against being responsible-budget, time helping with things you need to get done, etc-if one focuses on an interest to the detriment of other things that need priority, then there may be trouble indeed-but you are also , imho, entitled to use your free time as you choose-all things in moderation 

besides this hobby is so much more sensible than choosing a new blonde girl friend half your age, and a new Ferrari


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## SD90WLMT (Feb 16, 2010)

Ya, the new blond will find some one half her age and the Ferrari will get stolen......


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## vsmith (Jan 2, 2008)

Posted By Martan on 09 Nov 2012 07:30 PM 
That you are not just an old guy that wants to play with toy trains in his sandbox? 
Oh ****, I gave up on that years ago...


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## rpc7271 (Jan 2, 2008)

20 years ago I was setting at my work bench working on one of my HO locomotives. My wife cam in and started talking tome about something. Even though I was still working on my loco i WAS listening to her also. She finally said "You love those trains more then me." To which I replied "If you don't like it you can just leave." You know, I don't miss her one bit!


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## jimtyp (Jan 2, 2008)

How do you convince your wife? I didn't have to, she's the one that got me interested in trains. Yes, I'm lucky


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## Garratt (Sep 15, 2012)

Posted By rpc7271 on 12 Nov 2012 11:13 AM 
20 years ago I was setting at my work bench working on one of my HO locomotives. My wife cam in and started talking tome about something. Even though I was still working on my loco i WAS listening to her also. She finally said "You love those trains more then me." To which I replied "If you don't like it you can just leave." You know, I don't miss her one bit! 
Ha ha. WINNER!


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## snowshoe (Jan 2, 2008)

I got lucky. I started to get back into trains when my first one was born. Now I have two little ones a 3 year old who thinks about trains 24/7 and my daughter is 8 and she is so so about trains (a female thing). My kids are my excuse. Of course when they get older im not sure what my next excuse will be. 
My wife thinks it funny how my 3 year old and me are always doing something train related. Shes not crazy when I spend a lot of money on trains. As long as i use my overtime checks for the higher priced stuff shes ok. 
My co-workers bust my chops about it but I always sit back and laugh because all they do is complain about everything while Im happy with everything.


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## blueregal (Jan 3, 2008)

You can't don't you know the saying Life, wife, strife!! LOL Like someone said "Just do it" Get er done!!


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## Colormepearl (Jan 25, 2009)

When I use to drink, my wife hired a wino to decorate our home, so I would have to go out, and feel right at home.. Now, the wife is gone, lives in the wino decorated home, and I sit home alone and didn't even have to hire a UP exec., (the former wino), to decorate my new home. Did it all myself!


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## Hugh Napier (Oct 10, 2012)

Interesting thread.... I guess I'm quite lucky, two passions in life, steam engines and horses. My wife shares my love of riding so the winter tends to be dedicated to that, the summer to the garden railway and my, er... big locomotive... I encourage her to visit family and have girls weekends and I get the odd weekend off to play on the main line with the 1:1 scale machine! Luckily my daughter is obsessed with the big loco and my wife can be persuaded that the odd mainline trip is worth enduring, as long as its premier class, full dining et al! 

Long may it continue.... 

Hugh


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