# Electrical theory by joseph lucas



## Randy Stone (Jan 2, 2008)

*ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS*

*Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as “smoke”.
Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
 
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
 
The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.
 
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets.
 
Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
 
In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
 
And remember: “A gentleman does not motor about after dark!”
 
Joseph Lucas: The Prince of Darkness” 
1842-1903

*


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## CliffyJ (Apr 29, 2009)

Wow, thanks Randy. After reading that, so many things are starting to make sense...

Like, ever since I quit smoking, I get tired -- every single night. 
Also, about that same time, we installed a bunch of CFL bulbs. They were supposed to be just as bright as incandescent bulbs -- but the entire house is DIMMER! Mere coincidence??
And my memory has gotten a lot worse, too.

So I'm seeing the pattern... and I'm thinking Joe Darkness might have been on to something...
Thanks again,
CJ


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## vsmith (Jan 2, 2008)

Why do the British drink their beer warm? Their refrigerators are also made by Lucas.

There is a reason Lucas is known as the "Prince of Darkness".


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## lotsasteam (Jan 3, 2008)

at least the british use refrigerators ,the Scott's won't by fridges because they don't believe the light goes off when they close the door!!!


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## Garratt (Sep 15, 2012)

Electrical tape helps keep the smoke in the wire in case of small leaks. Sometimes the smoke pressure is too great and will burst out though. More tape may not help afterwards when the smoke has already escaped.

Andrew


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## SD90WLMT (Feb 16, 2010)

Well...then one just ..re-orders..a new smoke replacement kit....

Easy as pie...

Dirk


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## Dr Rivet (Jan 5, 2008)

Randy

A friend who probably wishes to remain nameless sent me this:

You do know that Lucas is an acronym for "Leave your car after sunset!"


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## toddalin (Jan 4, 2008)

I find that the chances of releasing the smoke are directly proportional to the cost of the project/component.


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## Dr Rivet (Jan 5, 2008)

lotsasteam said:


> at least the british use refrigerators ,the Scott's won't by fridges because they don't believe the light goes off when they close the door!!!



By "Scott's" [and not Scots] you are refering to Scott McDonald, Scott Loomer, .... and all the other Scotts that are on MLS.


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## Dave Meashey (Jan 2, 2008)

OK, 'splain something to me please. How come steam locomotives and ALCO diesels release vast quantities of smoke, but seem to still have sufficient energy to pull their trains?

Kinda' thwarts the above theory. Many steam locomotives use electricity for headlamps, backup lights, markers, and cab lights. ALCO diesels have traction motors. Perhaps they are exceptions to the postulate? ;>)

Have fun,
David Meashey


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## backyardRR (Aug 14, 2012)

Jim, at least they weren't referred to as "scotch". On that note, I'll
have a large one please. Whisky in the UK of course.

(member of the Forbes clan-paternal great grandfather)


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## toddalin (Jan 4, 2008)

Dave Meashey said:


> OK, 'splain something to me please. How come steam locomotives and ALCO diesels release vast quantities of smoke, but seem to still have sufficient energy to pull their trains?
> 
> Kinda' thwarts the above theory. Many steam locomotives use electricity for headlamps, backup lights, markers, and cab lights. ALCO diesels have traction motors. Perhaps they are exceptions to the postulate? ;>)
> 
> ...


This is because of the massive amounts of smoke fluid that are pumped into these engines. If one were to run out of this smoke fluid, you would see the "magic" smoke released.


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## Greg Elmassian (Jan 3, 2008)




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## SD90WLMT (Feb 16, 2010)

Looks like that Smoke replacement kit I mentioned..

Looks like Lucas still stocks this item....

D


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## Greg Elmassian (Jan 3, 2008)

"still stocking"? Are you kidding? Big seller!!

Probably the most profitable part of their business ha ha!

Greg


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## SD90WLMT (Feb 16, 2010)

They could try selling and profiting..from ....

"SMOKE" Insurance.....than!!!

LOL....

Dirk


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## Michael W (Oct 10, 2012)

Wow, I never new this, this certainly explains why my steam engine after installation of a smoke unit only runs half as fast..., I also could save plenty of money by just putting a tini nick into some wires near the stack to let appropriate quantyties of smoke out...
Does anybody know how much I need to cut into the wire to release an amount of smoke ( through the stack) that looks prototypical?
Kind regards


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## John J (Dec 29, 2007)

That is some good stuff Maynard! Got any left? Do you share ? I got some papers here somewhere . 


JJ


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## JohnKK (Jan 15, 2014)

*Lucas electrics*

I once owned a 1958 Austin Healey 100-6. When about half of the electrical items didn't work, I decided to rewire it. After a full summer of working on the rewireing, and completing the job, about half the electrical items didn't work. Not the exact same half, but about half, nonetheless. Between the electrics and the dual SU carbs that needed tuning after each outing, there was a fair amount of down time. That was a great car!


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