# Margie is with the Lord



## Mike Reilley (Jan 2, 2008)

My dearest love Margie passed away last night while I and her sister Maureen held her and prayed for her and spoke with her about how it was Ok to go. Her breathing was very slow. Her eyes were closed. She missed a breath…opened her eyes and looked straight into my eyes as I looked deeply into hers. I hadn’t seen them open in days…and I’m sure she was doing her last check to see that I was going to be OK…as that was what Maureen and I were assuring her of. It was a very quiet, intimate scene...just like I had hoped she would enjoy at her last moment of life. Then, she just stopped breathing.





Half an hour later our daughter, Richelle came…and was sitting where I’d been. I sat in Margie’s spot on our couch. The sun was going down…and a light flash hit me across both eyes. Margie had hung wind chimes all around the upper level of our house…some hand made by her father. One of his was in the center of the kitchen window hanging from the eaves…just some old bottle with a clanker inside that was hooked to a tail that the wind blew. And the tail moved in the wind, it’s glass clanker moved and reflected the sunlight till it him my eyes. Just a flash….one flash. And as I turned to look at Margie, I saw that the light passing through the old bottle the projected on the wall right above Margie and as the clanker inside moved with the breeze…a spot of light…the one that hit me in the eyes circled around on the wall above Margie. I saw that and I said, I think Dad’s got her…and Maureen said no, that was Margie just making sure we were OK.





This has been the longest journey of my life…and certainly Margie’s too. I know Margie is at peace and I’m trying to get there too…and I’m making progress. Margie’s move towards death began two years ago…and the treatments she endured were onerous. So many radiation sessions. So many chemo sessions. Being a living pin cushion…that was all bad…but as she progressed toward her reward, she became unable to swallow pills and we had to change to feeding her all her anti-seizure meds. We ground them up. We sweetened them. We fed them to her with strawberry and peach yogurt…her favorites. But no matter what we did, we couldn’t cover up the extreme bitterness of the pills.





Last Friday morning I got up at 630 to be with her. With the home quiet, we could talk. I called it my Margie time…and we actually had conversations…albeit slowly as the tumor was causing her difficulties in word retrieval. She asked for help going potty and I got my sister Laurie to help me. She didn’t need to go…she had stopped eating days before and was only taking small bits of water…but when she was lucid, she was lucid. She knew I’d sit on the bed next to her and hold her hands…and I did…and she’d be at the same level as my face. She lifted her head, turned, and looked me straight in the eyes and said “I gotta go soon”. Then she said “I don’t know how to do it.”..and for the rest of her life, we helped her understand how “to go”…how to achieve peace. Then she said “She was sorry”….and that I was to tell everyone that. So I am…right here. She let me know that she knew that all of you who knew her, in different ways, loved her…and that she loved you too….and that she was sorry for not beating the disease and causing all of you pain and sorrow you feel. Nurturing…to the very end.





She also begged us to stop giving her those terrible tasting meds…which kept her from having seizures as the tumor grew. The alternative the drugs she was on was a tranquilizer that we knew would put her to sleep comfortably…and would end our and her ability to talk. She knew this too…and was saying her goodbyes to us. It was a very tough morning…and again, she spoke more about telling everyone. I gave her the tranquilizer around noon…and it immediately stopped a small tremor she was experiencing…and she was peacefully asleep, breathing comfortably. My last words to her while I knew she could communicate was “I love you”…her response was shorted. It was “I love….”….and she was including everyone.





Earlier I talked about her move towards death began two years ago…it was also a time of great joy and satisfaction. We intensified our lives. I began my GRR putting ladder roadbed in. The pace of medical treatments...and our intensified family interactions rose, and I'm not much further along than I was a year ago. The things Margie valued most we did more of...a lot more of. Three more grandchildren were born. Margie got to hold all of them and rock them and do her grandma thing. We upped the number of times we went to Richelle’s for dinner and she had lots more time to play with Richelle’s kids…Cookie Grandma they called her because she always baked cookies for them. Our other grandchildren grew during the period and learned to call her Grandma. They all knew Margie loved her…they always went to her…all of them except our newest, Shane, were able to make it to the house to be with Margie for at least a day. Margie might be sound asleep…for hours…but when those grand kids arrived, she was lucid. She’d toy with them…they’d toy with her…they climb up on her…they’d push her hair around…they’d sing to her. It was absolutely wonderful to see the joy in her eyes…and that’s what I’m going to remember. I hope all of you remember the sparkle in Margie’s eyes, her pleasant smile, the easy going attitude, and most of all, all the love she created...in all of us.


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## tmejia (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike,
My heart goes out to you as I read your beautiful post about Margie with teary eyes. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.

Tommy, Jacque and Grace
Rio Gracie


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## Dwight Ennis (Jan 2, 2008)

Mikey, I am sooooooo sorry!! Words always seem so hollow at times like these. Despite Marge being ill for two years, and despite a certain amount of emotional preparation during that time, one is never really "prepared." You have my love, my friendship, and my heartfelt condolences. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. 

I remember fondly those great years at the Queen. When it was time to break down my track and load up, it was always marge that jumped up to help, carrying legs and sections and equipment to my car for me. Despite not seeing as much of her after the Queen was no more, she has always been one of my favorite people. She was always warm and friendly when we did bump into each other, and she never had a bad word to say about anyone. The Lord has gotten a real lady. May he treasure her and shower her with her rewards!! We her encountered her will certainly miss her! God Bless.


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## Gary Armitstead (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike,

We are so very sorry for your loss. Our deepest condolences to you and your family.


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## livesteam53 (Jan 4, 2008)

Mike, 

Hold tight to memories for comfort, lean on your friends for strength, and always remember how much you are cared about.


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## Semper Vaporo (Jan 2, 2008)

I did not know Margie, and I only know you through this forum, but my heartfelt condolences are to you.

Your words remind me of a quote from the son of a couple that were killed earlier this month in the collapse of a RR bridge in Illinois.


"Many of you have expressed surprise and anger at God for not stopping what has happened here and shortening my parents' lives," Robert Lindner said. "That does not comfort me. In my opinion, it is God that gave us our time with these two amazing people. And just as you don't curse when a wonderful concert has ended, I want you to give my parents a standing ovation for the wonderful performance that was their life."


From your description, I rejoice in the life she shared with you, your family and friends.


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## blueregal (Jan 3, 2008)

My condolence's Mike! Regal


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## Dave Crocker (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, 
You have known that this would come but you are never ready for it. 
I am glad that you were with her and now she is at peace.


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## StanleyAmes (Jan 3, 2008)

Out heart goes out to you. 

Stan and Deb Ames


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## jbwilcox (Jan 2, 2008)

What a beautiful tribute to the one you loved.

Your love for her and her love for you is manifested in your words.

I am so sorry for your loss but we know that she is in a better place now.

Someday you will have the opportunity to join her there.

Good luck,

John


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## John J (Dec 29, 2007)

Mike 

I am so sorry to hear of Marge's passing

I have said a prayer for her already 

JJ


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## VictorSpear (Oct 19, 2011)

A beautiful epilogue. My condolences on the loss of your dearest.

Victor


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## Jerry Barnes (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, 
That was very moving, hoping the best for you and your family at this sad time.


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## Polaris1 (Jan 22, 2010)

Mikey R.............. 

I read your "wonderfully stated Margie text" in tears..... 

I remember back to November 2002 when my Mother passed from a Brain Tumor.... Doc gave us a 1.5 years remaining ...... accurate, yes..... 
Her favorite Treat during the last month was a tablespoon of Ice Water....... 

With sympathy, 

Dennis Mayer, Green Bay, WI


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## jimtyp (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, your tribute is quite nice. I'm glad you have some great memories to fall back on.


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## noelw (Jan 2, 2008)

Mickey. All we can say after reading your post that with lots for feeling and tears.. is again all we can say is our condolences to you and your family. 
This is so hard when your lose some one so close and then have to go on. In any way we can help let us know. Noel & Jane


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## Torby (Jan 2, 2008)

So sorry to hear.


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## Brandon (Jul 6, 2011)

My heart goes out to you Mike, and all of your family.


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## Michael Glavin (Jan 2, 2009)

Mike,

What an inspirational salute acknowledging your love of that special person in your life. I consider you very fortunate to have had such a wonderful woman for a wife, partner and the devoted and loved mother of your children and their offspring. Margie will surely be missed by all. Please accept my heartfelt condolences to you and yours. 

Kind regards,
Michael


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## tj-lee (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, 

Sorry to hear. 

Best, 
TJ


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## cjwalas (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, I don't have any words to say. I know it was a terribly difficult two years for you all and I am deeply sorry for your loss. Marge was a great one. 
Chris


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## SteveC (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, hang on to the good memories and know that she is in a better place beyond our physical world and at peace.


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## sbaxters4 (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, I do not have the words to say what is in my heart!! God has blessed you with such wonderful memories of life and love shared with a wonderful woman! While I have never had the priviledge of meeting either you or Margie other than here on line, I do consider you friends and within the realm of this site and our shared hobby, family! Rest in the ever loving arms of God Margie and Mike know that I/we are here to lift you up in any way that we can. 

God Bless and deepest sympathies and prayers!


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## Naptowneng (Jun 14, 2010)

Hi Mike-

I am deeply saddened at the loss of your beloved Marge, yet you actually comforted my as I read your moving tribute to your wife.

I am also extremely grateful that I got to meet Marge when I visited San Diego last February. I will always remember what a delightful lady she was, cooking us dinner and patiently listening to us rattle on about trains and our Navy experiences all evening. 

Both Jane and I will hold you in our prayers.

Jerry Bohlander
Annapolis, MD


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## Randy Stone (Jan 2, 2008)

Trish and I are so sad to here that Marge has passed away. 

You did everything a husband and a friend could do to take care of Marge. 

Now it's time to take care of yourself as Marge would want you to do. 

You will be in our prayers Mike.


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## East Broad Top (Dec 29, 2007)

I remember my aunt telling a very similar story of when my uncle passed away from the same illness. That doesn't remotely qualify me to say "I feel your pain," but I can certainly appreciate what you're going through right now. My prayers are with you and your family. I remember Margie from when y'all came out to the convention. She will definitely be missed. 

Later, 

K


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## aceinspp (Jan 2, 2008)

I only know you through this forum, but my heartfelt condolences are to you and your family. I never got to meet either of you but I felt I knew you both via the forum. Later RJD


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## Ralph Berg (Jun 2, 2009)

My condolances Mike. 
You were both blessed to have each other through those difficult times. 
Ralph


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## up9018 (Jan 4, 2008)

Mike, 

So sorry to hear about the passing of Marge. That was a very nicely done story, and I hope in the coming days you will find the peace that Marge now has. It was very nice to read you got to say your goodbyes. 

Until we speak again, God Bless You and Your Whole Family 

Chris


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## Stan Cedarleaf (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike.... So sorry to hear the news. I've been off line all day and JJ forwarded your original email...

Kay and I and our congregation are praying for you and the family...


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## Mik (Jan 2, 2008)

The true measure of a person's life isn't money, or property, or even power... It's how many miss them when they're gone. Rest easy, Mikey, your Margie's life was a success.


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## Henson (Jan 2, 2008)

Our deepest condolences to you and your family.


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## dieseldude (Apr 21, 2009)

Mike- Sorry to hear about Margie. My deepest condolences to you and yours. 


-Kevin.


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## Ray Dunakin (Jan 6, 2008)

Mike, I'm so sorry to hear of Margie's passing. Your post was very moving and a beautiful tribute. It's a blessing that you were able to be there for her at the end. 

Our condolences to you and your family. You'll be in our thoughts and prayers. 

Ray and Cris


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## Gary Woolard (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike,

We've been blinking back tears here as we read your eulogy for Marge. We've only known her from the various conventions she attended with you, but she was one of those people who you immediately could tag as sincere and open-hearted -- it just showed in her eyes.

Our sincere condolences on the loss that you and your family are suffering. Marge will not be forgotten.

with all the positive wishes we can send your way,

-Gary and Carla-


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## Gary Woolard (Jan 2, 2008)

This is from Carla, who said 'post this so that everybody can see what a wonderful smile she had!"

Mike and Margie at the SWGRS show last November..


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## Rod Fearnley (Jan 2, 2008)

Mikey, from the bottom of our hearts, both Jill and I send our sincerest condolences. The picture that we have of Marge and the girls at Duncan Thompson's BBQ in Chandler Az, now takes on a whole new special place on our wall. God Bless her.


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## sqor (Jul 24, 2012)

It is very sad to hear about your wife.... our lives are so short ... thanks for being so open too ... I'm very sad for your loss


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## BillBrakeman (Jan 3, 2008)

Mike,

My thoughts and prayers are with you

Bill


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## vsmith (Jan 2, 2008)

Thats terrible news, may God be with you and your family.


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## Dennis Paulson (Jan 2, 2008)

Our condolences to you and your family our thoughts and prayers are with you .


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## GN_Rocky (Jan 6, 2008)

Mike, 
I started yesterday to post here after posting in FB and I froze up due and had problems trying to figure out what to say. 
But with all that you've been thru with Marge, you've done everything for her better than what the rest of us could have done if in the same situation. 
Your post here as was the one Jim forwarded to me was one of the most moving things I've read in a long time. I too was brought to tears as I went back in time a year and a half to when Momma pasted. To lose a close loved one IS one of the toughest things to go thru and after that, the planning is also difficult as is going thru those events. Good thing you have family and close friends near. They will help you thru this as will the Lord. After all of this is behind you, you will feel numb and empty. This is what I remember, perhaps it will be different for you. You have a tough road to climb now. But if it's anything to what you've done so far, you'll do ok. I hope this is coming out right. I wish I could do something to help from here. I remember meeting Marge the one time when you two were down to FL and we went out to dinner with another couple that were your friends from down there, if I remember correctly, it was back in 2003 and now being that I am an OLD goat, my memory isn't what it used to be from time to time. That was a nice time. I remember your wife as being a nice, friendly and charming lady. You were so lucky to have been with her over all these years. See will be missed by all that knew her.

I hope you weather this alright and if you need anything, even if to just talk, pick up the phone and call. 

Take care .... Rocky


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## Totalwrecker (Feb 26, 2009)

Dear Mike, 
Sorry I havent been able to send this quicker, everything keeps getting blurry... Recently I witnessed dozens of 'Mike 'n Margie's as I underwent cancer treatment. How do I describe the love I witnessed? 
I'm just a snarky old bachelor with a loving sister who introduced me to a new best friend Brian, together they were my 'posse' as they escorted me through treatment. Only a month after Chemo could I see that my life was in their hands. Chemo brain is no treat, your being there for Margie, was exactly what she needed. I saw that love too many times on my visits to the Cancer Centers, it was great to see, but ever so hard seeing it happen to such nice people... 

Be Blessed. 
John


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## Steve Stockham (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, 
I just heard and am so sorry for your loss. Our prayers and condolences go out to you and your family.


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## Richard Smith (Jan 2, 2008)

Mike, 

I am so sorry for your great loss. I don't think I have ever read a more beautiful tribute to anyone than what you have posted here. You and Margie must have loved one another very, very much. If there is any consolation it is that you knew and loved someone so wonderful and that the reward of simply knowing her is worth any price including even suffering her loss. I am sure too that it was all worth it to Margie as well. 

May God bless you both.


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## chuckger (Jan 2, 2008)

Hi Mike,

Condolences from our family to yours.

Chuck & Gerry


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## Becky Francis (Jan 2, 2008)

Mikey, we know that words are inadequate at a time like this, but we wanted you to know how very sorry we are for your loss. The loss of a spouse is tragic and even though neither of us has experienced your loss, we can only imagine the pain and suffering you are experiencing.

It is times like this that our faith is put to the test. We know that we must accept Margie's passing and give thanks for the wonderful life she lived. As sad as it will be, we will always have the memory of her to hold in our hearts.

The Bible reminds us that "Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted." We pray that this will be especially true for you as you mourn your loss of Margie.

God will grace you with peace and comfort in the days ahead. We pray that God will give you the strength to see you through this sad and difficult time. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

You have many women that make up your life. Mother, sister, grandmother and daughter. But the one that you call your wife is the one whom you attach your heart and live as one, with the solemn oath that until death do you part.

God gives us many gifts in life; parents, children, even friends. But the special gift is in a blessedl union to the one true love of your life. That is the one that you call your wife.

Lucky is the man who finds that special woman. The one true love from which all love springs. The joy of children that you call your own. You are so grateful for that one woman you found. You chose that woman to be your wife. She will be missed.

In Faith & Sympathy
Becky and Jim


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## stanman (Jan 4, 2008)

I am deeply saddened to hear about your loss.

My dear wife passed away from brain cancer almost exactly 15 years ago (July 26, 1997) and her death was just as you have described.

I promised her that she would be my first thought when I woke every day, and my last thought as I went to sleep. It's a promise that's been easy to keep.


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## general1861 (Jan 22, 2010)

Mike,

I am sorry to hear about Marge. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers... Travis


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## joe rusz (Jan 3, 2008)

Mike, I'm late to the boards, as usual. Your post had me in tears. No words can adequately convey how sorry I am for your loss. Margie, and you, will be in our thoughts and in our prayers.


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## Mike Reilley (Jan 2, 2008)

Thank you all for the sentiments. You'll never know how deeply they impacted me. I am better for your remarks. 

I know most of you personally...and I know most of you knew Margie only through me...and met her with me at various big GRR functions. I've met you at the BTS, the ECLSTS, the SWGRS, and the NGRCs. Those were the good times I want to remember...and I know Margie enjoyed all the encounters. The Queen Mary BTS Days and the Phoenix NGRC were clearly her favorite events. We partied hardy at those events and really got to know a lot of you. She remembered those days fondly. She really enjoyed the after-show activities...which normally involved sitting around, drinking, and telling stories. She hooked up with the wives of the other GRRers...and had great "oh-that's-his-thing, so-lets-talk-about-about-kids-and-grandkids"....and off all those wives went on that - hook, line, and sinker. She flat loved it. So did the men, because their wives were happy.

The last two years have been tough because of all her medical treatments...going out of town became difficult. But she hung in there as I said, and we enjoyed an accelerated life of good stuff. It was oriented around her interests...grand kids...and less of the GRRing get-aways...but I enjoyed seeing the joy in her eyes being around all the grand children MUCH more than in the past...and even better, they were now kids, not babies, who could love back. She nurtured them...they nurtured her. We still got several long trips in and a cruise. That was icing on the cake.

The last two months included two separate occasions in the hospital to recover from disease induced seizures. She had a GBM, an incurable brain cancer whose victims only last 3 months without treatment and 14 months with treatment. She survived 26 months and got to hold and feed three more grand children. She got to see them grow into kids...and she got to bake cookies for them. The grand kids named her Cookie Grandma, and she loved that. We have one more in the hopper, and were both hoping that she's get to hold him/her. Unfortunately, that wasn't in the cards.

I learned during that period how immensely strong my family is. All the kids took time off of work to sit with her for a week in the hospital with me. I was heart warming beyond belief to me. As the cancer took a more aggressive hold, she faltered rapidly, and her sister and my sisters came to stay with me to help take care of her. They were my strength, as it became incredibly difficult for me to help her take her pills as her swallowing ability was defeated by the cancer...and then we went through the terribly difficult ground pills period. It tore my heart out, but my/her sisters jumped in and allowed me to avoid my pain. Again, it was heart warming beyond belief.

The family is much stronger from this experience...but it still suffering. Margie's strength helped them.

In parallel with all of Margie's situation, we had three other critical medical situations going on at the same time. Our ninth grand child was born 2 months early as the result of a rear-ender car accident his mother was in. He's lived in an ICU for all but two weeks of his life...and during those two weeks, we visited him, fed him, and held him in the NICU. That was Margie's only time to hold him...and it was important for her...but it's likely that activity caused the first major disease induced seizure and hospitalization...but she felt it was worth it.

The reason we visited, fed him, and held him in the NICU was because the accident caused a whiplash injury to his mother. The accident not only separated the placenta, but injured her neck. During an MRI of the neck injury, the radiologist found a tumor in the lower part of her brain that touched the spinal cord. Five days later, she had a 7 hour brain surgery at UCSF...and a week of recovery. While my son tended to his wife, we tended to the new grand son. Recovery from that long surgery is still on going, as it caused a series of disabilities in the daughter in law.

The new grand son developed serious complications to the prematurity. Last week, just before Margie passed, he was given a complete liver transplant. We do not know at this point why his liver completely died, but it was literally life or death for him for three weeks. Margie knew of the transplant and survived to know that her newest grand son had made it. She lived through the intrigue of the transplant...finding a donor small enough to donate a liver to 7 pound grand son, the whole transplant process involving private jets and helicopters to move it...and the incredible process and risks associated with getting the organ into the grand son. He's recovering nicely now and we hope he'll be better. He's 4 months old, and weighs 7 pounds...so he's got a lot of catching up to do.

The stress from all these medical disasters resulted in Margie's sister having a major MS attack from stress. It was the first one in six years and she was quite ill. Margie and she spoke to each other for weeks...healing each other...but it led to Margie worrying about what would happen without her nurturing. Her "I don't know what to do" was both about how to find a way out of her life and into heaven as much as it was about her not being able to figure out to help her new grandson, his mother, her son (who saw his son, wife, and mother in trouble), and her sister. 

She did find her way...she's in heaven, the grand son is improving day by day, his mother is having time to do the PT/OT to get better, and her sister is much better. I know she left earth for heaven in peace...and she's up there watching over the famiily.

Again, thank you for all your sentiments. They really helped.


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